Just saw a reel of a two-year old girl reading aloud perfectly. The reel’s creator said this was an example of hyperlexia – being able to read a book out loud clearly even before speaking independently in sentences. The reel then said this was an early sign of autism, and I felt like I got gut-punched.

My mom has recordings of me reading the letters of the blocks she’d show me, then babbling away in baby talk trying to grab the microphone or touch the tape recorder. I wasn’t even walking. One day she was carrying me in a parking lot and I started saying “Dubby! Dubby!” She turned around – it was the Montgomery Wards “W.” My first letter in the wild.

I don’t remember my preschool years at all, but I’m told I led an independent storytime – kids would gather around me and I’d read the books to them. Teachers apparently thought I had them at home and memorized them. (Today a kid memorizing a book completely is a big hyperlexia sign!)

At the start of Kindergarten, I did the same thing. That teacher was shocked because these were brand-new books, part of a pre-sale offer. One of my earliest memories is the teacher asking me to stay inside when everyone else went out for recess. She handed me a paper and asked me to read it. Apparently it was gibberish but I breezed through the sounds as if it was a children’s book. That afternoon when Mom came to pick me up, the teacher pulled her aside.

“Your daughter can READ!”

“Well, yes I know, I taught her,” Mom said. Not only had she been a teaching assistant, she’d wanted me to have something to do on our frequent long car trips.

Side note important for diagnosis – I had help. I didn’t start learning on my own. But Mom also tried to teach me other things I didn’t connect with. She didn’t have this success with other toddlers she helped care for or her granddaughter. Just me.

The teacher fought back “If she knows how to read already, I CAN’T have her in my classroom!”

Mom says she fought to keep me at the Kindergarten level. I was the youngest in my class, born right before the age cutoff, and the teacher insisted I go to 1st grade, where I’d be a full year younger than those classmates, leaving the friends I’d had through the preschool years.

My parents were committed to sending me to Catholic school, and this was very close to our house. To them, there was no question of taking me somewhere else. To the teacher, there was no question of letting me stay. The principal either didn’t get involved or sided with the teacher.

The 1-8 grades were in a separate building higher on church property hill from the parish administration building that also held the littlest kids. An outdoor staircase separated the buildings. I don’t remember starting the school day in the kindergarten class, but I do remember climbing that long stairway, trudging step after step feeling alone, told to find and enter another classroom on my own. I had just turned 5 years old.

I don’t remember being introduced to my new classmates. I do remember the names they later called me and the way they ignored or shunned me. Most other kids would have taken it as good-natured teasing and teased back, or made jokes about it too. Instead, I cried. And they liked that powerful reaction so kept at it for years and years.

That would be a clear childhood example of Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, an physical and deep emotional reaction to the perception of rejection. It’s connected to neurodivergence and is a side of myself I’m finally understanding. NAMI Mercer has a simple PDF about RSD available here. It includes an easy-to-understand description, some strategies for friends and family, and a few ways to cope. But that’s another blog for another time.

That inability to not feel rejected or bullied by my peers cemented my love of books. I could disappear into them. I could usually escape to a corner of a library. I liked reading new books, but also loved familiar books over and over.

Another side note to diagnosis: Did I *understand* what I was reading? The definition suggests a hyperlexic child does not, and instead focuses on the symbolic visualization. To me, most words can be figured out from synonyms or context. Really, I was too engrossed in reading to stop and look something up in the dictionary. Those standardized reading comprehension tests placed me at top level. So was that from practice? From “giftedness”? Honestly, as I re-read some of these books as an adult, there were multiple layers I didn’t get at the time. Is that from additional practice? With life experience? With better understanding of the time periods some of those novels took place in?

I will admit that lectures and textbooks were harder for me. But was that from boredom? From drifting off thinking about tangents? When I choked on the question the teacher asked me randomly, was that because I misheard, because I second-guessed myself, or my brain had left the building? Did I get B’s and C’s because I didn’t really get the material or because I wanted to focus on other things?

All I truly know is that I don’t read books much anymore. I love to read so deeply that I’ll snap at anyone who interrupts me, and I can’t afford to do that (more often) to my family or in the workplace.

I do love diving into research, speed reading and working out how what I’ve read fits into the problem at hand. I like reading real news or human-interest articles online. I don’t want TL;DR.

And recording engineers love me as a “one-take wonder.” Hand me a book or a script and I can act it out or narrate at once. When recording radio spots, a safety take usually just fine-tunes my pace to fit the timing. It’s even more fun when I hear the underscoring and mesh my pace with the beat.

So does all this point to hyperlexia? Does it relate to RSD, autism, ADHD? If I was a kid today, my behavior and preferences should flag a teacher to refer me to evaluation. That might catch unusual sensory sensitivity (food textures and taste aversion, reactions to smells), mild stimming (bouncing leg, picking at fingernails/cuticles, playing with hair, chewing pencils), repetitive listening and reading habits, memorizing songs and lyrics easily.

I don’t have answers. I do have clarity. These kinds of reflections reassure me that my brain processes the world (and its words) differently. Adult me climbs those steps next to 5-year-old me and says you’re not alone, you just don’t know the other people like you yet.

For the similar 5-year-olds of today and tomorrow, I hope you have a teacher who can see you for who you are. I know so much lands on elementary school teachers, and they don’t get nearly enough support or resources, and I’m willing to fight to change that.

References and further reading:

Grigorenko, E.L., Klin, A. and Volkmar, F. (2003), Annotation: Hyperlexia: disability or superability?. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 44: 1079-1091. https://doi.org/10.1111/1469-7610.00193

Jensen, Audra. When Babies Read : A Practical Guide to Helping Young Children with Hyperlexia, Asperger Syndrome and High-Functioning Autism, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2005. ISBN: 9781843108030

Whiteside, Mara. “Hyperlexia: Precocious Reading or Reading Disorder?” Psychology Today, reviewed by Jessica Schrader. August 27, 2023. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/read-like-a-psychologist/202308/hyperlexia-precocious-reading-or-reading-disorder